Oh 2008 How You Flew By

The new year is approaching and I figured I'd take this time to write a new blog. I'm not exactly sure what's going to go in it but we'll see where my crazy brain takes us and in what order. Let's see...2008 was overall an OK year. I finished my 1st year of college which was pretty tough yet the most enjoyable experience of my life so far. I visited my father and realized why my sister feels the way she does towards him and learned that I will sadly never have a healthy relationship with him and can finally accept that. What else...I did some things I regret almost every day since I did them but there's nothing I can do about them now, so all I can do is either learn from those mistakes or try to do them differently. I feel like this year I learned more about myself and grew in to more of an adult then I thought would happen. Although I'm still an immature perverted child at heart, I've learned enough to consider myself more of an adult. I've finally learned what it's like to be on your own without parents or guardians to support you when times get tough. I have college living to thank for this. I think the most important thing I learned in 2008 though is that you have to learn who your TRUE friends are. Like seriously, there were people I could have said were my true friends and later found out that they weren't. This year I realized the difference between friends: good, true, and just whatever friends. Now I can try and more easily distinguish who will fall into what parts of those categories in my life. As for my new year resolution...well I still have to give that one thought, and maybe even have to keep it to myself. We'll see if i'm really adult enough to keep a resolution...

Until next time.

Today, I have felt almost every emotion in the book.

Today has been FULL of EVERYTHING! Let me list just a FEW of the emotions I felt:
Annoyed
Excited
Confused
Pissed off
Betrayed
Happy
Adored
Satisfied
Depressed

Those are just a few. It started with seeing that my paternal grandmother had apparently made a trip to CA to visit. I didn't get to see her but that's fine because like my asshole father, she too is a bitch. No loss there. However, this leads to me talking to one of my cousins and finding out that my other cousin is pregnant- with her 6th child, from the 4th man. It's unbelievable how some people just don't learn from their previous choices. I pick my words carefully in not saying regrets because her children are not regrets-children should NEVER be regrets, they are there because people either wanted them there or were not careful and just made them and can't deal otherwise. Either way, it's unbelievable that she's still so unstable yet popping kids out like they're worth $1 they're whole life. I've definitely learned a lesson in all of this, I mean- I was already declaring NEVER getting pregnant since my older sister got pregnant at 15 and I was 5...But now even more, I understand through other peoples choices how tough things really are in life and how one really has to take care of themselves. It just makes me sad that someone I love (the newborn baby) is going to have to suffer what will most likely be a horrible life because his parents are deadbeats. Just sad and there's nothing I can do to help since they've made us all be shut out of their lives. I don't even know what to think anymore.

On the brighter side...I cooked my first dish today-lasagna-and it was amazing :D

Back at Chain Reaction, with all the 14 year olds.

Well, tonight was Filmspeed's first show (former No One Goes Home) at Chain Reaction, my old favorite local venue. However, tonight was just not the same. I keep telling myself it was mostly because the bands playing were all local so of course the people going to the show would be young but it just makes me sad to think that this is where the music scene is heading, in the hands of children? Sure, I was going to shows at 15 or 16 years old but there is a big difference between me going to those shows and the kdis I see now. When I went to the shows I sincerely went because I was in love with the music, it was everything to me. Yet, these kids seem to be doing it to appear more cool or to fit a certain label they want people to see them as. I don't see that same love of music. Sadly, I feel like I don't want to go back to Chain ever again, but I feel I have to just to see if it was because it was a local show or if that's just where the music scene is heading. I don't know why people don't understand how important it is to go see their favorite bands in live shows or buy their CD's to show support, how are they supposed to survive off of the money of 14 year olds? I don't know, maybe I'm just ranting on about nothing but I just wanted to get this off my chest.

<3

And so let WINTER BREAK begin!!

YAY finals are over! I only had 2 but they weren't fun. Results are in by next week I believe...Yesterday I arrived home to Rancho...well first we were stuck in traffic FOREVER on our way back from the airport. Oh SoCal, how I missed you. HA. Then we went to Virgin Megastore because it's closing soon so they had sales and I bought the Nintendo version monopoly :D So excited to play it! Tonight is the Sharks VS. Ducks game I've been so anxious for! If I'm correct they're 1-1 against eachother right now so hopefully the Ducks win tonight!!! Also tonight, I'll be heading down to Anaheim to spend the weekend there and to see NOGH aka Filmspeed's show on Sunday night! Can't wait to see/hear their new stuff! Well, I guess that's it for now!
<3

FINALS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
That's all I have to say for now. I will update you when life is not so annoyingly complicated.

Thanksgiving Break is Sadly Coming to an End

It's Saturday evening, the day before I'm going to have to head back to Santa Cruz for week 10. Thankfully after week 10 I only have 2 days of finals and then can make my way back here for a nice month long break :D However, I'm not looking forward to the work I've procrastinated on until now. UGH, no fun. On another note: Last night was fun though, I got to see my high school friends and we played some beer pong/drank and had fun. It was so nice being with them and laughing so hard again. I miss that at Santa Cruz sometimes, I'll laugh but it's just not the same type of laughing.
I really hope to somehow raise money soon so I can buy myself a new digital camera. I need one that will last, not a Kodak, my last two broke, and the one Canon I had and lost was amazing :( I vow to do right by whatever new thing I get!! :D Hopefully I'll have one buy Christmas. I HOPE. Well, I guess that's all for now, I'm going to go back to family time playing games like Phase 10, Uno Spin, and whatnot.
<3

I'm the worst blogger known to your mother.

But oh well. Today is THANKSGIVING!!! I give thanks for lots of things, mostly being with my family on this wonderful day and to Honeybaked Ham for making a mistake and giving us a free turkey breast ;] Teehee. Well, let's see what else...I'm on break from UCSC until Monday, when I'll go back for week 10/finals week and then come back home again!!! I can't wait! Shortest school period ever!? YES! WOOT. haha this blog is just filled with excitement can't you tell? Sadly, I don't have a working camera anymore but I took some webcam shots with the kids so I guess I'll upload a few here just to show you how happy I am to be home. Right now we're watching Fred Claus with Vince Vaughn (well, he's not here watching it with us, I mean he's in the movie sillies.) and then we're going to get out crunk monopolizing/uno spinning on! I can't wait! YAY family time! HAHAH. <3 I'll update ya later. Maybe I'll win everything!!! I hope I get all the oranges/greens/yellows/reds. Those are my favorites!